PURPOSE: This practice promotes self-love and induces an extraordinary state of being so that you can enjoy longer-lasting lovemaking. This is not a genital-focused exercise but instead a whole-being experience.
PREPARATION: Create a sensual ambience; you must feel totally safe and relaxed. Select a room that feels comfortable, turn off your phone, lock the doors, play soft music, light candles or in cense, deepen your breath, and, if appropriate, say a prayer. Above all, take your time. No particular moment is more important than the next. If you find yourself rushing, stop, take a breath, and remind yourself to rejoice in the journey.
PROCESS: Caress and explore your entire body for as long as you can before arriving at your genitals. This includes your own face, neck, arms, belly, and lower back. Perhaps even give your entire body a pass from head to foot. Experiment and see what feels good to you. Nobody is watching or judging you, so allow your body to do whatever it wants, but do not hold your breath.
Breathe into your pelvic region and keep the belly soft. Keep the pelvic floor, or pubococcygeal (PC) muscles, active. As you breathe, engage the PC muscles at the top and bottom of the breath for additional potency. You can even exaggerate your contractions of this muscle and coordinate the movement with your breath, while making a sound to arouse your creativity. Stimulate your sex. Notice if you make different sounds and movements during masturbation from those you make during sex. Give yourself over to God.
When you are very near orgasm, direct all your sexual energy into the heart and/or spread it around the body. Come to the edge of orgasm and slow down, but don’t cool off-allow yourself to build energy at least two more times before releasing it if you are moved to orgasm.
Imagine your heart bursting forward with light or warmth. Send loving intention to whatever place in your body needs the most healing. After you climax, lie still and breathing energy throughout your body. Drink a lots of water and be gentle with yourself.
VAR IATIONS: Self-pleasuring is different for everyone; there are as many variations on this practice as there are people.
RESOURCES: Chapter 6, “Masturbation Meditation” in Sacred Sexual Healing: The SHAMAN Method of Sex Magic by Baba Dez Nichols and Kamala Devi
Photo by: Mark Arends, BEYOND Temple of Deep Delight