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“Awaken as Love” training, day five (days 25–26 of the trip). The action takes place near Tulum, Yucatan State, Mexico. The topic of today’s work is “Medicine Walk”. What exactly is a “Medicine Walk” you may ask? It is consciously spent time in nature and it can be dedicated to a specific issue, or whatever opens up while in a state of deep peace and listening to nature, which then becomes our mirror. There is no food, only water, a notebook and a pencil. With the path underfoot in the early morning, before dawn, the “threshold” is crossed, I kind of intuitively understand what it is, but I can’t really translate it.
There are about thirty of us at Paledora Eco-Resort and we very quickly scatter around the surrounding paths, each with our own flashlight and only accompanied by the buzz, buzz, of nature as we disappeared like fireflies into the surrounding forest (in the following text I will use the word jungle, because we are in Mexico).
As the hosts warned us, there are snakes, iguanas, tarantulas, scorpions and some jaguars out here, but they say they haven’t attacked anyone in the area for a long time. Uff, that has made it much easier for me! Lucky that I wrote down the phone number of the main lecturer James, if I happen to come across any of those creatures above, I can WhatsApp or Telegram him. But in some moment, I remember that I don’t have internet outside of our beautiful and safe eco resoorrrrrt! OK, it is what it is, if I’m really destined to be bitten by a spider on the “Medicine Walk”, I mean it’s destined, I can’t go against the natural course of things. Either I will “Wake up as Love”, or I won’t. I have a little niggling feeling, should I go back for the boots maybe, because of the snakes? But what if I die of heatstroke? Well, I gave up on the idea of boots or going back and I pray to God that dawn will arrive as soon as possible… but it feels like dawn will never arrive. I’m walking with my small flashlight, if only I had thought to bring a bigger one, and I ask myself for the umpteenth time in my life in similar situations, WTF?
OK, I’m going along the main path, I even dared to turn off the main path onto a side path, but it’s still pitch black. I mean, it’s not like it’s completely wild, there are a few houses here and there, and a few cars pass by in the distance. Realistically, I’m neither equipped nor brave enough to wander around the woods right now, but please, at least let dawn begin. And yes, I forgot the point is not to talk, not to communicate with words, to stay just with ourselves and nature, to be silent for a moment and try to hear what nature has to say to us. Actually, this silence really pleases me when I think about it a little more, after the flood of words in recent days. Also, for a change, I like the fact that I don’t have a morning “sharing” with my flock. I’ve been “sharing” every morning, and sometimes twice a day, since I arrived in Mexico, with small breaks to catch your breath! “What’s alive in me this morning?” Alive in me this morning is that I am shitting my pants about going back to my home. Like this, at a decent distance of about 9,000 km, in a warm and exotic place, everything seems easy, with plans just exploding, deals, workshops, optimism, a bright future etc. And then, as the days pass and the time for going back home approaches, I can feel a slight anxiety sneaking in. The seed of change has been sown, there is no stopping it now, it is sprouting roots, but I’m afraid they are still too weak to transport safely. Will it survive the journey? I water it, sing to it, take care of the plant, clean the weeds (I’m lying, there are no weeds yet, but it sounds nice). I know that the plant has all the potential to grow into a real big and beautiful plant (a carnivore, haha!), and it is the best thing I can give to myself and those around me. But what if I overwater the plant, or fry it with too much care and attention?
It the meantime, luckily, dawn arrived, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a total solar eclipse in that part of the world that very day! A Mexican boy passes by me, “Buenos dias” he says, I nod my head a bit confused, silence is silence, I guess I will last about 6–7 hours without speaking. In the meantime, I came across a rock, this allows me to sit down for a while to write, and I’m writing but my hand doesn’t move as quickly as the thoughts in my mind. Luckily, I brought a pillow with me, one of those that fits round your neck and doesn’t fall off when traveling, but it’s also a perfect fit for under your ass haha!
OK, it’s good so far, there have been no jaguars, tarantulas, scorpions or snakes. Realistically there might be some iguanas, but they are cool.
Back to my plant. Soooo, well, my plant was left alone in the resort, maybe I should go back and see how it is? And then to jump in the pool and to drop out of this medicine walk, haha, I won’t, I’m just kidding.
I’m going home in six days? F*ck, I thought it was seven! Breathe Spirit (that’s what they call me here), breathe, let’s take a deep breath into the stomach and let it out, phhhhhhh followed by aaaaaa, let’s go again, phhhhhh, and again…Ugh, it’s good, it’s easier now.
Is it easier?
Therefore, the implementation of everything, or at least some part of what was learned, is the key point of my stay in Mexico. How to transfer all of these newly acquired (and repeated) knowledge and tools to my everyday life? How to implement a good part of the learned practices so that they do not remain as dead letters on paper?
I know how, by passing it all on and confirming the material in that way. But that means social media activity non-stop, which is making me feel like puking in the middle of the jungle right now. Admittedly, if it weren’t for social networks, you, my dears, wouldn’t bother with this text either, wasting precious time for nothing.
The title of this story just came to me at Belgrade airport, it just flashed up in my mind, and I had no idea what it meant. You can see how that “Medicine Walk” makes sense. I think it’s no wonder how energetic I was back then, with a month of adventure to look forward to in front of me. And now look at me, am I shrinking into myself? Only a few days left.
With any luck, these 6 hours of “Medicine Walk” will seem like an eternity. I’m even cool with the fact that I’ll be languishing at Frankfurt airport for about 10 hours, bonus time for integration, before landing in reality. OK, so I now have the aforementioned 6 days, plus these 6 hours that seem like an eternity (5 hours and 24 minutes to be exact), to compose myself and see what I’m going to do with my plant. What if she doesn’t like the climate in Serbia? What if I have to take her to warmer places every now and then so she doesn’t wither?
For no reason, I now turn onto some side path, as if I wanted to go a little deeper into the jungle, but in fact, I’m not allowing myself to go further. I find countless excuses to bypass this radical path that cuts through the thicket. So why the hell can’t I? What dangers lurk behind every tree besides the jaguars, snakes, tarantulas and the occasional scorpion? How is it possible to coexist with all these creatures in a peaceful union?
Hmmmn, looks like I didn’t bring enough water with me. There are some houses there, but how can I ask for water when I can’t use words? I am such a pathetic thing. Just ration my water.
Something tells me I’m going around in circles. Like, have I already passed this sign? Or not? No matter, I certainly have another 4 hours to find my way back. And I have GPS. Yes, yes, I’m going in circles, I must have passed this way. A Hilti power tool can be heard in the distance… dagadagadagada, breaking through the brains of civilisations.
Hey look now, two parallel paths and an intersection in the middle of a dense jungle. There is also something like a roundabout around a bush! Am I supposed to take this as some kind of message directly from the “Heavenly Secretary”? Which way to go now to not screw it up? And should I sit on the rock for a while and think about the next step?
I’m back to my eco-friendly notebook. How many written pages and kilometres ago did I leave my plant and totally forget about it? About 15 densely written pages and 2.5 hours of walking through the jungle is how long ago! What you are reading now is a slightly refined version of the integral text.
Ahem, before planting, the seed is kept in the mouth for a while, to absorb the juices and through them soak up our DNA. If we carefully focus on the intention, i.e., the qualities we possess, provided we have discovered them by now of course, the intention will be carefully woven into the seeds we want to plant. Or a few seeds, it depends really on how ingeniously versatile we are and willing to selflessly share our genius with the world.
So, the seed is planted, the intention is there, the roots are released, the only thing left to worry about is what will happen to the plant when it changes time and climate zones. And there’s also the worry that this morning’s acid will kill her, or the fear of returning to reality.
Let’s think like this, what does a plant need to get stronger? In the life cycle of an average plant, there are several segments in order for it to progress beautifully and with quality.
Mini-quiz: Rate the following qualities in the life cycle of your plant on a scale of 1–10, in order to realistically assess its chances of survival:
1. Creativity
2. Spirituality
3. Finances
4. Career
5. Education (meaning self-development, not just formal education)
6. Health
7. Physical activity
8. Sexuality
9. Home – home environment
10. Relationships – partnership
11. Relationships – friendly, business
12. Social life
13. Satisfaction
The categories are given from top to bottom, they are not ordered by importance, everything is important and nothing is the most important.
By honestly evaluating the conditions for my plant to survive and develop in the domestic environment, I came to the conclusion that the chances are very high (I will not grow an orchid, they are terribly demanding and even to just to change their place in a house is complicated, let alone continents). So, more or less, all conditions are there, solidly rated, but some need a little work.
Let’s look at the whole thing scientifically. We observe four dimensions of reality.
1. Individual – internal
2. Individual – external
3. Collective – internal
4. Collective – external
In other words, there are a lot of factors that can affect the plant, its growth and development and at the same time this unpleasant morning acid secretion.
1. As for the first dimension, which comes from the SELF, everything is quite clear and unambiguous. The inexhaustible optimism regarding the growth and development of the plant is at an absolutely enviable level. When I stand in the first quadrant, all decision centres are in line, head, heart, stomach and sex. Everyone unanimously says YES. My ME KNOWS how much potential my plant has.
2. Individual external dimension or WE. It refers to the immediate environment, family, children, friends and how the growth of my plant (and the decisions related to that growth) will affect them. There is already a dose of anxiety in this quadrant.
3. Collective internal dimension or what should be practically undertaken to enable the smooth growth of the plant? It can be a dismissal, a new company, a new country, etc. Anxiety increases and a person can start to shiver and tremble even in these 30 degrees.
4. Collective – the external dimension that causes the stomach to turn at the mere mention of the state, taxes, social security, government work, visas, etc. Anxiety finally shows its true face in the form of seriously burning acid.
And then I slowly returned to the beginning of the circle, to the first quadrant where everything again has a deep meaning and reason and purpose. Everything else will take care of itself. On one occasion, I received the best advice ever from a Shaman of the Shipibo tribe: “Sister, you know what you have to do. You only need two ingredients: Trust and Faith”.
It’s time to slowly return to the Paledora Eco-Resort, “mission completed”. Another Hilti power tool can be heard in the distance, dagadagadagada again, there is civilisation out there somewhere.
I speak softly, and carry my plant with me. I am ready to go home.
Spirit
28/2/2023
20.356254. – 87.367895.
location accuracy – low
Priče iz Meksičke šume
„Awaken as Love“ trening, dan peti (25.-6. dan putešestvija). Radnja se dešava nadomak Tuluma, država Jukatan, Meksiko. Tema današnjeg rada je „medicine walk“. Šta je zapravo „medicine walk“? To je svesno provedeno vreme u prirodi, može biti posvećeno specifičnom pitanju, ili šta god se otvori, u stanju dubokog mira i slušanja prirode koja postaje naše ogledalo. Nema hrane, samo vodica, sveščica i olovka. I put pod noge u rano jutro, pre svitanja se prelazi „treshold“, što ja nekako intuitivno kapiram šta je, ali ne umem da prevedem, zaista.
U Paledora eco resort-u nas je oko 30tak, vrlo brzo se raštrkasmo po okolnim putićima, svako sa svojom baterijskom lampom…samo bzz, bzz..kao svici nestadosmo po okolnoj šumi (u daljem tekstu – džungli, jer smo u Meksiku).
Kako su nas upozorili domaćini, ima zmija, iguana, tarantula, škorpiona i poneki jaguar, ali kažu da nisu odavno nikoga napali u kraju… uhh, sad mi je lakše! Sva sreće te zapisah telefon glavnog predavača James-a, ako mi se desi nešto od pomenutog, može WhatsApp, Telegram… ali se u neko doba setih da nemam net van našeg prelepog i sigurnog eco resort-aaaaaaaa…. OK, šta je tu je, ako mi je baš suđeno da me ujede pauk na „medicine walk“, mislim… suđeno je, ne mogu ja toliko da protivurečim prirodnim tokovima. Ili ću da se „probudim kao ljubav“, ili se neću probuditi. Malo nećkanja, da li da se vratim možda po čizme, kao zbog zmija? Ali šta ako riknem od toplotnog udara?? Dobro, odustadoh od čizama, i vraćanja.. i molim Boga da svane što pre… ali nikako da svane. Idem tako sa onom baterijskom lampičicom, bar da sam ponela normalnu lampu, i pitam se po ko zna koji put u životu u sličnim situacijama, WTF???
Dobro, idem glavnim putem, odvažih se čak da skrenem sa glavnog na sporedni, mrkli mrak još uvek… mislim, nije da je baš totalna nedođija, ima tu i tamo poneka kuća, prođu i poneka kola u daljini. Realno, nisam ni dovoljno opremljena ni hrabra da se sad baš zavlačim po šumarcima, ali aj bar nek svane. A da, zaboravih, poenta je da se ne priča, da ne komuniciramo rečima, da ostanemo sa sobom i prirodom, da na trenutak umuknemo i probamo da čujemo šta priroda ima da nam kaže. Zapravo mi ovo ćutanje baš prija, kad malo bolje razmislim, posle bujica reči poslednjih dana. Prija mi i to što nemam jutarnji „šering“ sa svojim jatom, za promenu. „Šeringujem“ svakog jutra, a nekad i dva puta dnevno, od kad sam stigla u Meksiko. Sa malim pauzama za hvatanje daha! „What’s alive in me this morning?“ „Alive“ je to da sam se uknj od povratka domu svom. Ovako, na pristojnom rastojanju od oko 9000 km, na toplom, egzotičnom mestu, sve se čini lagano, planovi samo pršte, dogovori, radionice, optimizam, svetla budućnost.. A onda, kako dani prolaze i kako se približava realizacija istog, počinje neka lagana zebnja da se ušunjava. Seme promene je posejano, tu sad nema pomoći, pušta korenčiće, ali su, bojim se, još slabašni za transport. Hoće li preživeti put? Zalivam, pevam, negujem biljčicu, čistim korov (lažem, nema još korova, ali lepo zvuči).. Znam da biljčica ima sav potencijal da izraste u činovsku prelepu biljku (mesožderku, hahahaha), nešto najbolje što mogu da poklonim i sebi i onima oko sebe. Ali, šta ako pridavim biljku sa previše vode, ili je spržim sa previše brige i pažnje?
Svanulo je u međuvremenu, na svu sreću, ne bih se iznenadila da je baš tog dana bilo totalno pomračenje Sunca u tom delu sveta! Prođe pored mene jedno meksikanče, „buenos dias“, ja malo mutavo klimnem glavom, ćutanje je ćutanje, izdržaću valjda nekih 6-7 sati… U međuvremenu naiđoh na jedan poveći kamen, malo da prisednem i pišem, pišem, ruka reči ne stiže. Sva sreća te ponesoh jastuk, hahaha, onaj da ne otpadne glava u prevozu ali je sasvim primenljiv i za ispod guzice.
OK, dobro je, za sada nije bilo jaguara, tarantula, škorpiona, zmija, realno bi mogla da naiđe neka iguana, one su kul.
Da se vratim na moju biljku. Jaaaoooo…pa moja biljka je ostala sama u resort-u, možda ipak da se vratim i da vidim kako je? I da zabodem bazen i batalim ovu medicinu, hahahaha.. Neću, šalim se.
Za šest dana se vraćam kući!?! Fck…mislila sam da je za sedam !?! Diši Spirit (tako me ovde zovu), diši, ajmo jedan duuubok udah u stomak i izdaaahh praćen aaaaa….idemo još jednom, hhhaaaaa, i još jednom…Uhh, dobro je, sad je lakše…
Ma ‘de lakše?
Dakle, implementacija svega, ili bar jedno dela naučenog je ključna tačka mog boravka u Meksiku. Kako preneti sva ova novo-stečena (i ponovljena) znanja i alatke u svakodnevni život? Na koji način sprovoditi dobar deo naučenih praksi da ne ostanu mrtvo slovo na papiru?
Znam, tako što ću sve to prenositi dalje i na taj način utvrđivati gradivo. Ali, to znači društvene mreže non-stop, od čega mi se upravo sada, u sred džungle baca pegla. Doduše, da nije mreža, ni vi se dragi moji ne biste napecali na ovaj tekst, bez veze gubeći dragoceno vreme.
Nešto mi pade na pamet, naslov ove priče mi je samo doleteo još na surčinskom aerodromu, samo je bljesnuo, a da nisam imala pojma šta znači. Vidiš ti to, kako ima smisla taj „ medicine walk“.. Kako sam bila poletna tad, mislim nije ni čudo, sa mesec dana avanture ispred sene. A gledaj sad?? Šta sam se skupila kao dve pare u vreći? Usitnila na 5-6 dana? Sva sreća te će ovih 6 sati „medicine walk“ izgledati kao čitava večnost. Čak mi je kul i to što ću dreždati na frankfurtskom aerodromu nekih 10tak sati, bonus vreme za integraciju, pre nego ateriram u realnost.
OK, dakle imam sada tih pomenutih 6 dana plus ovih 6 sati dugih kao večnost (5 sati i 24 minuta), da se sastavim i vidim šta ću sa svojom biljkom. Šta ako joj ne bude prijala klima u Srbiji? Šta ako budem morala svako malo da je nosam u toplije krajeve da ne uvene?
Bez veze skrenuh sad na neki sporedni puteljak, kao bih malo dublje u džunglu, a u stvari ne smem. Nalazim bezbroj izgovora da zaobiđem radikalno probijanje kroz gustiš. Pa što ne smem kog đavola? Koje sve opasnosti vrebaju iza svakog drveta osim jaguara, zmija, tarantula i ponekog škorpiona? Kako je moguće biti u suživotu sa svim ovim bićima, u miroljubivoj koegzistenciji?
Hmm..izgleda da ne ponesoh dovoljno vode. Ima nekih kuća tu, ali kako da pitam za vodu, kad ne bi trebalo reč da progovorim jadna. Samo racionalno. Sa vodom.
Nešto mi govori da se vrtim u krug. Kao da sam već prošla pored ovog znaka? Ili ne? Nema veze, svakako imam još 4 sata da nađem put nazad. A imam i GPS. Da, da, vrtim se u krug, sigurno sam prošla ovuda. Čuje se hilti u daljini…dagadagadagada, probija mozak civilizacija.
Pazi ovo, dva paralelna puta i raskrsnica u sred guste šume. Ima i nešto kao kružni tok oko žbuna?? Da li ovo treba da shvatim kao neku poruku direktno od „nebeske tajnice“? Kojim putem sada krenuti a ne zeznuti ? A da ipak malo posedim na kamenu i porazmislim o narednom koraku?
Vratih se mojoj eco-friendly sveščici. Pre koliko ispisanih strana i kilometara sam ostavila svoju biljku i totalno zaboravila na nju? Cc 15tak gusto ispisanih strana i 2,5 sata hoda kroz džunglu.. Ovo što sada čitate je malo pročišćena verzija integralnog teksta.
Elem, pre sađenja, seme se drži u ustima neko vreme, da upije sokove i preko njih naš DNK. Ukoliko se pažljivo usresredimo na nameru, tj. kvalitete koji posedujemo, uz uslov da smo ih do sada otkrili, namera će se pažljivo utkati u seme koje želimo da posadimo. Ili nekoliko semena, zavisi koliko smo genijalno svestrani i voljni da svoju genijalnost nesebično podelimo sa svetom.
Dakle, seme je posađeno, namera je tu, korenčići su pušteni, ostaje samo briga šta će biti sa biljkom kad promeni vremensku i klimatsku zonu. A tu je i briga da je ne ubije ova jutarnja kiselina, iliti trema od povratka u realnost.
Hajdemo ovako, šta je potrebno biljci da ojača? U životnom ciklusu jedne prosečne biljke ima više segmenata da bi lepo i kvalitetno napredovala.
Mini kviz: Ocenite ocenom od 1-10 sledeće kvalitete u životnom ciklusu vaše biljke, da bi ste realno procenili koje su šanse da preživi:
- kreativnost
- spiritualnost
- finansije
- karijera
- edukacija (misli se na samo-razvoj ne samo na formalno obrazovanje)
- zdravlje
- fizička aktivnost
- seksualnost
- dom- kućno okruženje
- odnosi – partnerski
- odnosi – prijateljski, poslovni
- društveni život
- zadovoljstvo
Kategorije su date zbrda-zdola, nisu poređane po važnosti, sve je važno i ništa nije najvažnije.
Iskrenim ocenjivanjem uslova da moja biljka preživi i razvija se u domaćem okruženju dođoh do zaključka da su šanse vrlo visoke (neću da gajim orhideju, one su užasno zahtevne na promenu mesta u kući, kamoli kontinenta). Dakle, manje više, svi uslovi su tu, solidno ocenjeni, na nekima treba malo poraditi.
Pa šta kog đavola onda paničim? Što jednostavno ne uživam u rastu biljke, gledam je kako raste, menja se, nekad malo venucne, pa se pridigne.. Ahaaa, to je tako kad smo u magičnoj džungli, samo mahnemo i od korova nastane prelepi cvet. Ali, avaj, ja ne živim u magičnoj, već u džungli na asfaltu gde se cveće prilično gazi, nehotice, u prolazu, a nekad bogami i namerno.
Gledajmo tu celu stvar naučno. Posmatramo četiri dimenzije realnosti.
- Individualnu – unutrašnju
- Individualnu – spoljašnju
- Kolektivnu – unutrašnju
- Kolektivnu – spoljašnju.
Drugim rečima, ima tu dosta faktora koji mogu da utiču na biljku, njen rast i razvoj i ujedno na ovo neprijatno jutarnje lučenje kiseline.
- Što se tiče prve dimenzije, koja ide iz JA, sve je poprilično jasno i nedvosmisleno. Neiscrpni optimizam u vezi rasta i razvoja biljke je na apsolutno zavidnom nivou. Kad stanem u prvi kvadrant, svi centri odlučivanja su u liniji, glava, srce stomak i seks. Svi jednoglasno kažu DA. Moje JA ZNA koliki potencijal ima moja biljka.
- Individualna spoljašnja dimenzija iliti MI. Odnosi se na neposredno okruženje, porodicu, decu, prijatelje i na to kako će rast moje biljke (i odluke vezane za taj rast) uticati na njih. Već se javlja doza zebnje u ovom kvadrantu.
- Kolektivna unutrašnja dimenzija iliti šta sve treba praktično preduzeti da bi se omogućio nesmetani rast biljke? To može biti otkaz, nova firma, nova zemlja, itd. Doza zebnje se povećava, da čovek prosto ozebe na ovih 30 stepeni.
- Kolektivna- spoljašnja dimenzija koja izaziva prevrtanje želuca na samo spominjanje države, poreza, socijalnog osiguranja, državnog posla, viza, itd. Zebnja konačno pokazuje svoje pravo lice u vidu kiseline koja ozbiljno peče.
I onda se lagano vratih na početak kruga, u prvi kvadrant gde sve ponovo ima duboki smisao i razlog i svrhu. Sve ostalo će se posložiti. Jednom prilikom sam dobila od šamana Šipibo plemena najbolji savet ikada: „Sister, you know what you have to do. You only need two ingredients: Trust & Faith“.
Vreme je da se polako vraćam u Paledora eco resort, „mission completed“. Čuje se hilti u daljini, dagadagadagada, tu je negde civilizacija.
Govorim tiho i nosim biljku sa sobom.
Spremna sam da se vratim kući.
Spirit
28.02.2023.
20.356254. – 87.367895.
location accuracy – low
